I can't find my medication today and I can already feel my anxiety creeping up out from the shadows. The coffee & cigarettes are giving me the shakes, I can see red spots blurring my vision and my heart is beating like a drum.
All I want now is to curl up in my bed and sleep in the darkness, but I can't leave this place. I sit here chain smoking and an ant crawls up my arm but I swear it was a spider. I flick it off and pray it landed on the ground safely because even the smallest of creatures deserve to live.
Nothing feels important to me, except the need for what I fool myself into thinking as intimacy, when all it really comes down to is sex with boys who know much better.
Songs currently on repeat:
† Honest - Band of Skulls
† Ambulance - Eisley
† Sullen Girl - Fiona Apple
† Dangerous Animals - Arctic Monkeys