Sunday, June 6, 2010

Alone in suicide, which is deeper than death.

Lux is the pivotal role, as she is the only girl which the boys obtain sufficient information about, her emotions and overall feelings can be layed onto the remaining sisters, each; although seemingly toned down, would have much similar frustrations. She keeps the boys in touch with the group of girls, as much as possible without physical interaction. She is both the subject and contractor of the main events within the story.

If I was a lisbon girl I'd be a cross between Cecilia & Lux. Cecilia for her emotional instability and strangeness & Lux for her lack of self control and need for closeness. Suicide is in their blood and sometimes I feel like it's in mine because like them I just keep going through the motions and in circles of self destruction through whatever means possible.

Today I cried in my session with the psychologist for the first time ever, I was crying previously but held many of my tears back. As soon as I came in the room and she asked how I was I bursted into tears and couldn't pull myself together till 5 minutes later.

The past couple of days I've been sick with the worst headache i've had in my life as well as a sore throat. It kept me up till 2am last night and lying in bed is not fun when you have a throbbing headache and tend to ruminate about everything that surrounds your life.

Songs currently on repeat:
Rapper's Delight - The Sugarhill Gang
Instant Pleasure - Rufus Wainwright
When Doves Cry (Cover) - Damien Rice
Little Red Corvette - Prince


  1. I hope you feel better soon ♥

    And I know how you feel, I feel it too, the suicide in my blood. I'd be Cecilia, all the way. I'm reading the book in English for the first time. So amazing.

  2. I hope you feel better<333
    I'm reading it as well currently :)