I'm tired, just when I thought my mood was beginning to stay stable, the intensity and unpredictable swinging from sadness to anxiety to anger and back again is creating chaos in my head. I can't think straight, or focus on anything and I feel like sleeping forever till I stop feeling like this. I feel like bursting into tears right now and I have no idea why, I've taken my meds and have had enough rest, I shouldn't feel like this.
It's also seems like the world is throwing happy people everywhere I go, laughter, kisses, hugs and fulfilling conversations wherever I sit, stand, walk. It makes me sick like someone is taunting at me with something I can never have for that long. I'm sick of waiting, I want to be selfish and have it all but life doesn't work that way and Mick Jagger was right when he sung/wrote You can't always get what you want.
songs on high repetition:
† Big love by Fleetwood Mac
† Firecracker by Ryan Adams
† Lover I don't have to love by Bright Eyes
† Tourniquet by Marilyn Manson